GRIEF AND SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION #1
When we think of grief we usually relate it to loss of a loved one, job/house/finances or a devastating illness. However, for completeness I wanted to just make a mention of other factors causing grief and sorrow in our lives including; unfulfilled goals, and dreams, burn out and moral injustice and ...
7 Things That Will Destroy Us
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principle
Mahatma Gandhi
as well as Spiritual malaise and the Buddhas Four Rivers of Suffering -
Uncontrolled death, rebirth, sickness and aging.
These blogs will focus especially on grief related to
Remorse, Guilt, Self Condemnation and Shame
so prevalent in our lives
Grief can be devastating and can cause the less well known
Broken Heart Syndrome
a reversible heart condition occurring almost exclusively in women.
Stress cardiomyopathy is a weakening of the left ventricle usually as the result of severe emotional or physical stress.
The main symptoms are chest pain and shortness of breath without evidence of coronary artery obstruction but due to a ballooning and weakening of the left ventricle.
Recovery is usually within a month.
There is no doubt that grief is very much part of our lives and it's not what happens to us but how we deal with it that counts. When navigating our metaphoric boat down the river of life between the banks of pain and happiness we need to do our best to stay in midstream. No doubt we will bump into either side but the karmic law of impermanence tell us that nothing lasts. We should fully en"JOY" those moments when they present but more importantly not set up camp on the bank of pain.
"Pain is inevitable, suffering optional."
REGRET
We say - regrets to an invitation - and may or may not mean it. A criminal may regret being caught but have no remorse about the action.
Regret is about something concerning us rather than another and can lead to a subtle, chronic form of grief. The Ancestors warn about carrying "pebbles of regret" around with us because if they accumulate over the years and are not dealt with they can weigh us down. Not fulfilling our aspirations, dreams and visions can be a source of sorrow which comes up especially when our shelf life has expired and we are about to leave the planet. We also will be held accountable karmically for not making an attempt to fulfill our destiny related vision for ourselves.
Sometimes to empty the pebbles of regret from our pockets we have to sail away from our "safe harbor."
Remorse, Guilt, Self Condemnation and Shame demand that we have a certain amount of self awareness not seen in a psychopath or minimally in a sociopath. Refining self awareness is critical for self transformation and requires delving into the laws governing spirit rather than the laws imposed by humans.
Remorse and Guilt
occur when we feel bad about
what we did.
Self Condemnation and Shame
are when we feel about
who we are.
REMORSE AND GUILT
Whether we do anything about it or not depends on us - whether our intention is to "clean the slate" or just forget about it and let it silently fester. Hidden unresolved guilt can cause "dis-ease" and even disease. Studies show that forgiveness enhances our immune system, whereas cynicism depresses it. Guilt increases pro-inflammatory factors which can cause some auto-immune diseases, some cancers and atherosclerosis. Letting go of guilt is tantamount to releasing an albatross hanging around our necks or in the words of the African American song
"I'm gonna lay down my burden down by the riverside, aint gonna study war no more."
Guilt can be like having a war with our soul.
A criminal may be guilty but when he present himself to the judge claims he is not. He hopes that his lawyer will prevail on his behalf. In our society sadly it is usually about winning rather than taking responsibility. Our politicians - when the possibility of winning seems lost - know that saying sorry will help their plight. However, like the criminal trying to get a lighter sentence, they may put on the face of contrition but have no real remorse.
SURVIVOR GUILT
differs and can have many reasons. It is common in the armed forces where a combatant loses a friend in battle. Even if he earned a Medal of Honor for bravery he or she may still feel they could have done more to save a fellow soldier. It is a common cause of P.T.S.D.
Survivor guilt can occur heavily in those instances where a hero/ine loses his/her life on behalf of the one who survives.
Alternatively there may be guilt and more likely shame in someone who out of fear and self preservation did nothing when he realized he could have at least tried to do something.
REPENTANCE AND REDEMPTION
Redemption is a stronger term and may be best applied to release someone from self condemnation and shame which can be crippling emotional forces causing soul sickness and even soul loss.
As we will see repentance is easier to attain.
Guilt, self condemnation and shame can put the brain in lock down mode so that activity is entirely in the more primitive survival areas and one cannot access the prefrontal lobe where our higher notions, discriminations and discernments reside.
Guilt also paralyses the Inner Healer (which is part of the soul) and has no place in healing illness. Someone, who for religious or other reasons, does not believe they deserve to be well or the sickness is punishment for their behavior, is not likely to get well from a serious illness.
The nocebo response - the power of belief to hurt, harm or even kill you - is the opposite of placebo. A combination of guilt, witchcraft and nocebo can be a death sentence in indigenous societies where there is a strong belief in witchcraft's power. Witchcraft like distant healing works regardless if one believes in it or not but it works more powerfully in the presence of nocebo.
Just like distant healing has been shown to be effective in double blind trials the same rings true for its opposite - distant hexing.
Click on the link to highlight - then play
Can't do nothing is a double negative and means we must do something.
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