FORGIVENESS #2

“I’m gonna lay down my burden down by the riverside, aint gonna study war no more.”  African American spiritual song.

 

When we hold onto resentment and judge we may suffer more than the one we are resenting. We carry a burden around with us - as an albatross around our necks. To forgive and be forgiven or at least make the attempt is to lighten the spiritual burdens we all carry.

 

“Forgiveness is the most completing gift we can experience for we all have its sweet need.” J. O’donahue

 

Repent with joy, forgive with joy. You are returning to yourself and are back on the path.

 

It’s all about cosmic union. Go forward with forgiveness which is essential to substance and Joy.

 

Forgiveness encompasses:

What we have done to ourselves (to our Higher Selves and hence to our Creator.)

What we have done to others.
What others have done to us

 

These three components - according to the circumstances - may need to be approached differently.

 Forgiveness of self – the little self and its choices and actions (the Higher Self is pure.) 

Grant forgiveness!

 

Forgiveness of others. 

Give forgiveness!

 

For those that we have wronged. 

Ask forgiveness!

 

Once we have done this. whether accepted or not, we are better able to return to our Higher Selves.

Forgiveness for what we have done to our Selves - our higher Selves, made in the image of the Divine.

The more we embrace the hypnosis of unskillful and toxic sentient pleasures, the more the soul distances it-Self from the body leading to a measure of soul "sickness" or even soul loss. The body and the soul should be as one. 

A body caught up in cravings and attached to sentient pleasures distances the soul.

"From the sound of my sighing (equanimity, peace, harmony)

has my essence (soul,)

cleaved onto my flesh (body.) King David

 

“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, “I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?”  Nietzsche

 

… The only real truth is God’s love for us. This is what it is to heal and be healed - to surrender to this.

 

God’s love is not a test. God is not a test of love.

God's love does not seek worth, God's love creates worth.

Gods' love is not the test, karma is the test and levels the spiritual playing "Field." God will forgive us for these sins - these sins to the Self, to that Self-made in the image of the Creator. “Jesus died for our sins”, that is the sins to our Selves, not necessarily those done to others (for the latter we have to ask them for forgiveness.) But we also have to forgive ourselves. This will make it easier for us to forgive others and ask others for forgiveness for any grievances related to our actions. 

If it is challenging to find forgiveness for the small self's dysfunctions, make a trade; forgive your-self for something and then also give forgiveness or ask forgiveness of someone you have offended or injured as an equalizer towards one's worthiness. Imagining oneself in front of a spiritual tribunal may induce us to do this. We will have to account for our karma to such a tribunal when we cross the veil between the worlds. We may as well work on it now.

"To err is human, to forgive, divine."

Self-condemnation and recrimination have no place in spiritual transformation or healing. They strengthen guilt which can lead to shame. Regret and remorse are about what we did wrong, not who we are. Toxic shame and guilt are about feeling bad about who we are rather than only our actions. We all do bad things but this does not make us bad. The higher Self is pure.

 

“Self-condemnation strengthens guilt which is one of the greatest obstacles on the path of realization.” (And also healing and curing.) Sri Swami Rama

 

Self-condemnation, guilt and shame sometimes make us believe that if we beat ourselves up (or others do it for us,) it will make us perform better but usually the opposite is true. Self-recrimination and non-constructive criticism from others and positive outcomes are frequently inversely proportional. Functional M.R.I studies and neuroscience have shown that self-condemnation or self-recrimination, severe guilt and shame can shut down the higher consciousness of the prefrontal lobe of the brain allowing our primitive, survival brain centers and monkey mind to predominate. 

We all need to practice self-compassion, universal self-acceptance (U.S.A.) or an unconditional positive regard for ourselves (and others.)  Self-compassion reduces anxiety, depression and increases happiness, optimism, positive emotions and self-worth. Self-compassion does not mean enabling  – we have to acknowledge and admit to any unskillful actions of the little self or ego - often aggravated by the shadow and monkey mind. We need to treat ourselves as we would a good friend.

Owning and expressing our unskillfulness in words decreases the impact of what we have done in causing others and ourselves harm. Suppressing our emotions aggravates our misdemeanors and our equanimity. 

 

Guilt, and shame and a feeling that one does not deserve to be well is also antithetical to one’s healing or being cured. Some believe that sickness is God’s way of punishing them for the errors of their ways but ... 

"Shit happens!" Bumper sticker wisdom

The Creator punishing us because of our actions is an untruth and a nocebo effect or a way of self-hexing. Just as self-condemnation has no place in spiritual transformation, the same is true for the power of guilt and shame to immobilize the Inner Healer. The Inner Healer is part of the soul. They both have the capacity for healing when we let go of toxicities in their way. Everyone deserves to be healthy as well as spiritually transform. Toxic guilt and shame are antithetical to both.