THE SEARCH FOR THE SELF 

 NAVIGATING THE APOCALYPSE 

 FORGIVENESS #2

GRANTING OUR SELVES FORGIVENESS !

Forgiveness of Self and Atonement for what we have done to our Higher Selves. 

God is a persistent lover wooing us with many pleasures, lavishing endless grace, wanting our delight, hoping for our trust.

The Self is pure but often polluted by our primitive desires. We need to forgive ourselves to recover that purity. This is also the parable of the prodigal son or daughter returning to the Creator in wholeness.

God is not a test of love, God's love is not a test. 

(Karma is the test.)

Self-Forgiveness can often be the most difficult in cases where there has been shame or severe guilt from abusive actions one has experienced from others or another or those that one has done to one's-Self.

“…care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner…” Tao Te Ching

"…you are accepted by the sun, you are accepted by the moon, you are accepted by the trees, you are accepted by the ocean, you are accepted by the earth. What more do you want?
You are accepted by this whole universe. Rejoice in it!” Osho

“Everybody feels inferior in some way or other. And the reason is that we don’t accept that everybody is unique. There is no question of inferiority or superiority. Everybody is just one of his kind - comparison does not arise. 
The moment you accept yourself as you are, without any comparison, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. In that total acceptance or yourself you will be free from these complexes - inferiority, superiority. Otherwise you will suffer your whole life....


Just be yourself, that is enough… Osho

However, we do need to scrutinize what have we done to our Selves but with Self-compassion which creates Self-worth - never with

Self Condemnation. 

Sometimes we have regrets about things that we have failed to do rather than negative acts that could incriminate us. These "pebbles of regret" can weigh us down and must also be released. They can also cause guilt and shame and depending on the circumstances, "survivor's guilt."

We need to understand that Self-worth, which has to do with soul work, is not the same as self-esteem which refers to the small self implying pride - a recipe for narcissism.

(California's self-esteem movement in the 60's had the opposite effect to what had been intended. Later in life those children performed less well, mostly because they had been misguided about their abilities by undeserved praise. They had a greater incidence of depression as well as suicidal tendencies.)

We are all worthy of respect and an unconditional positive regard for our Higher Selves. In other words U.S.A. Universal Self-acceptance not only for our own True Self but also that of others.

Self-condemnation strengthens shame and guilt which is a huge impediment on the path of Self-transformation. It puts the brain in lock down mode, cutting us off from our prefrontal lobe and higher consciousness. We then default to our primitive brain's survival mode which is linked to the sympathetic nervous system, flight or fight, and even freeze and 'feign' death (panic.)

Feeling bad about ourselves can lead to more "badness." We are responsible for but are not our actions.

As you think it so it can be. As you believe it so it will be.

“Self condemnation strengthens guilt which is one of the greatest obstacles on the path of realization.”

Sri Swami Rama

Be patient with yourself, kind to yourself and release yourself from what you are not accountable.

An unconditional regard for ourselves reduces anxiety, depression and increases happiness, optimism, positive emotions and Self worth. U.S.A. does not imply enabling or condoning unskillful behavior. We have to recognize when we have done wrong and make amends.

Asking for forgiveness must begin with genuine remorse and regret for what we have done. Remorse is when you feel bad about 

what you did

Unremitting guilt or worse shame is when you feel bad about 

who you are 

and has no place in Self-worth

We need to substitute regret or remorse for our guilt or shame.

"Shame is the swampland of the soul." C.G. Jung 

Shame is a crippling emotional force.

"Shame is more than a word or a noun. Shame is a voice ... If we are not careful we can allow shame to speak toxic words deep into our vulnerable souls ... Shame is a ruthless voice, an inner critic of all things detrimental and damaging ... C.G. Jung 

"The voice of shame is invisibility." Bren'e Brown

“Shame cannot survive being spoken.” Bren'e Brown

 The only way out of it is through it. One needs to come out of hiding and talk it out with someone trustworthy and compassionate. This may require some form of rehabilitation program. 

One can have shame without having done anything wrong. The wrong has been perpetrated by another. We need to shift the blame to where it belongs.