JOY AND HAPPINESS

SUFFERING, SORROW AND GRIEF #2

Neuroscience is now confirming what the sages - especially Patanjali - have said about 'Mind'. These principles can help us attain equanimity.

The mind must mind what the mind minds best. So which Mind do we or should we choose?

“Serenity is not a passive condition but an undisturbed peace of mind, active and aware which can be 

quiet joy, sometimes ecstatic joy, 

always deep within spirit and light of heart.” 

Father Toomy

There are two principles outlined here which I believe are key to attaining equanimity and balance.

1.

FMRI studies have localized the two minds in the brain that Patanjali described long ago. In modern terms; Monkey Mind or Big Mind. Monkey Mind resides in the primitive brain as indicated in the figure and is where both our primitive and toxic emotions arise. For most of us unless we have a dedicated spiritual practice we default to stress or even Flight or Fight in this area which connects us to our sympathetic survival response. Nothing creative happens here. The only way we get out of Monkey Mind is through some form of relaxation response imbedded in the parasympathetic nervous system, best induced by spiritual practice. We cannot think our way out of it.

On the other hand Big Mind in the prefrontal lobe connects us to either Love of Fear - our only two feelings. This is where our higher consciousness resides. FMRI studies have shown that advanced meditators appear to have more neuronal density in the prefrontal lobe and they default here. Even when there is severe stress they rapidly return to prefrontal lobe activity. This area connects us to the God head, the Field and our guides and is the space of creativity.

To attain equanimity and happiness we need to nurture Big Mind with spiritual knowledge and an effective spiritual practice. In this way we subordinate Monkey to Big Mind, Ego to the Higher Self and our Shadow to our Good Inclination.

Big Mind connects us to the parasympathetic nervous system and inner peace.

2.

Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel prize winner, in describing happiness, defines two Selves; the Experiencing Self and the Remembering Self. Joy has a different energy than happiness and is an exuberant, in the moment, feeling of the Experiencing Self.

He describes the Remembering Self being about our story and how we keep score. Since it is not an in the moment, blissful-like phenomenon like the Experiencing Self, he calls it Synthetic Happiness. He adds that this is part of our psychological 'immune' system. Its the Remembering Self that can make life seem more positive.

This system has a reset point. How the experience ends, will determine the lasting effect – happy or not. If not, he maintains that with redeeming or reframing a negative emotion into a positive one we can end up with a positive feeling - having a conversation with a close friend, a walk on the beach, enjoying a funny movie, etc. One bad aspect of an experience can ruin a satisfactory encounter because that is what is remembered rather than the good parts. The sooner it is redeemed the better. There is wisdom in the statements; never go to bed angry, or when you fall off your horse or bike get back on immediately.

If we imagine ourselves traveling down the river of life in our 'Destiny-Self Boat' we can think of the two banks of the river as representing happiness and joy on one side and suffering, grief and sorrow on the other. We need to stay in the midstream of balance and harmony and remain non-attached to either bank. Its not what happens to us but what we do with it that counts. Every negative experience present an opportunity for spiritual growth. There can be no growth without conflict.

When we bump into the bank of happiness we must be in the present moment with either the Remembering Self or the Experiencing Self but when it’s over, it’s over and we head back into the midstream again. Likewise, when we bump into the bank of suffering we should redeem or reframe the feeling and head back to equanimity's center as soon as possible. This is also the 'Middle Path' of the Buddha. We never set up camp or become attached to either bank. Non-attachment and surrender are key factors when considering our equanimity factor.

Harrison Owens' rule of non attachment can help us. 

Whoever are present are the right people. Whenever it begins is the right time. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened. Wherever it happens is the right place.

When it's over - it's over!

This is easier said than done due to the fact that we have memory which imprints our conscious and subconscious. Bad memories can result in P.T.S.D.

In spite of their own high level of consciousness animals do not get P.T.S.D. When a zebra escapes the predatory action of a lion s/he is not harmed psychologically by that thought of that imminent death. He continues being the zebra he always was. For us it's not that simple.

Shed and shie from what keeps the soul from joy. 

 

The tension between the two banks of happiness and sorrow is a template for spiritual perfection while we try to maintain a childlike innocence. In order to navigate our 'boat' skillfully, a dedicated spiritual practice is essential. We need to learn to coexist with but not assimilate the negative experiences. 

It’s a mind game ('a head trip') and the balance resides in how we are managing our spiritual practice.

"Pain is inevitable, suffering optional." Unknown

Ancient wisdom tells us to take our suffering and make something useful out of it. Every bad experience can be alchemized into an opportunity. The Phoenix can rise out of the ashes. Ongoing suffering is more a property of Monkey/Narrow mind and our primitive emotions. Spacious/Big Mind which connects to feelings - either love or fear - dictates that life is a test of our spiritual fortitude.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the butterfly calls the beginning." Zen saying