JOY AND HAPPINESS – SUFFERING 

 SORROW AND GRIEF #2

 

“S/he who sees life as a process of spiritual perfection

 does not fear external events.” Tolstoy

 

What we do with our experiences whether sacred or profane, light or dark, evil or good is a test of our spiritual fortitude.

 

We are continually being tested not about how much we know or how well we perform but our trust, love and faith are always being tested at unexpected times and in often unrecognized guises.

 

“What is the difference between your experience of existence and that of a saint? The saint knows that the spiritual path is a sublime chess game with God and that the Beloved has just made a fantastic move. That the saint is now continually tripping over joy and bursting out in laughter and saying “I surrender!” Whereas my dear I am afraid you still think that you have a thousand moves.” Hafiz

 

If we imagine ourselves traveling down the river of life in our "Destiny-Self Boat" we can think of the two banks of the river as representing happiness and joy on one side and suffering, grief and sorrow on the other. We need to stay in the midstream of balance and harmony and remain non-attached to either bank. When we bump into the bank of happiness we must be in the present moment with either the Remembering Self or the Experiencing Self (last blog) but when it’s over, it’s over and we head back into the middle again. Likewise, when we bump into the bank of suffering we should redeem or reframe the feeling and head back to equanimity's center in midstream. We never set up camp or become attached to either bank. Non-attachment and surrender are key factors when considering our equanimity factor. Harrison Owens' rule of non attachment can help us. 

 Whoever are present are the right people. Whenever it begins is the right time. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened. When it's over - it's over!

This is easier said than done due to the fact that we have memory which imprints our conscious and subconscious. This is why psychologists use animals that have memory for their experiments such as mice. A frog has no memory. Bad memories can result in P.T.S.D. In spite of their own high level of consciousness animals do not get P.T.S.D. When a zebra escapes the predatory action of a lion s/he is not harmed psychologically by that thought of imminent death. He continues being the zebra he always was. For us it's not that simple.

Shed and shie from what keeps the soul from joy. 

 

The tension between the two banks of happiness and sorrow is a template for spiritual perfection while we try to maintain a childlike innocence. In order to navigate our “boat,” skillfully a dedicated spiritual practice is essential. We need to learn to coexist with but not assimilate the negative experiences. 

It’s a mind game (“a head trip”) and the balance resides in how we are managing our spiritual practice. Life’s wisdom tells us to take our suffering and make something useful out of it. Use the suffering as grist for the mill. Every bad experience can be alchemized into an opportunity. The Phoenix can rise out of the ashes. Ongoing suffering is more a property of Monkey/Narrow mind and our thoughts. Spacious Mind dictates that it’s not what happens to us but what we do with it that counts.

 

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” Marcus Antonius

 

“If you are distressed by anything external, 

the pain is not due to the thing itself, 

but to your estimate of it; 

and this you have the power 

to revoke at any moment.” Marcus Aurelius

 

“What we speak becomes the house we live in.”  Hafiz

 

The mind must mind what the mind minds best. (Spacious Mind’s love rather than Narrow Mind’s fear)

 

Throughout the rain, the howling wind the pain … they cannot disturb the peace that is within.

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am a decisive element: it is my personal approach that creates the climate; it is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal …” Goethe

 

And for those things that plague us, that are less than critical, and which we tend to magnify - if it does not kill us, it makes us stronger. Often it is perseverating on those very small conflicts that keep us awake at night.

 

“Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out - it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” Robert Service

"People are like tea bags. You only know how strong they are when you put them in hot water." Unknown