David Cumes Surgeon/Sangoma (Zulu for Shaman)

GRIEF - SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION
& THE POLYVAGAL THEORY # 6

Also apologies for the fact that there was no #3 - my numbering error.

Attachment theory states that the presence of a loving caregiver is essential in the first few years of life - someone who sees, hears, soothes and secures the safety of the child. When children are abandoned or abused physically, verbally or emotionally they can grow up with a feeling of shame, self condemnation and worthlessness.
This can be inwardly directed causing soul sickness or loss,
or outwardly projected into hatred, anger, blame, judgment of their own pain onto others.

The same can occur with abuse later in life. Both can result in
Core or Toxic Shame.
Soul sickness and frequently soul loss from shame can occur with the repetitive, vile abuse seen in Satanic cults, gangs and the violent, sadistic methods used by Boko Haram on children kidnapped and forced under force of threat of death into dark initiations. The ultimate method here is someone forced, willingly or not, into committing a ritual murder. It is difficult for the soul to be brought back into the body after such a heinous act.

The Scriptures say;
"From the sound of my sighing has my essence cleaved onto my flesh."
The Ancestors interpret this as meaning that
From the sound of my sighing ...
(as when one sighs in a state
of equanimity, balance and harmony,)
and the soul and body are as one ...
my essence (soul) then cleaves onto my flesh.

On the other hand - if one indulges in
"Sex, drugs and rock and roll"
the soul separates from the body in disgust leading to soul separation or even "loss" (the soul being pure and made in the image of the Divine.) This "dis"-ease often causes disease.

The Ancestors

There are only two feelings; Love and Fear each of which have an array of different emotions. The darkest emotions seen in shame which are all manifestations of fear include; hate, malice and vengeance - all part of the Shadow (Evil Inclination) feeding Narrow or Monkey Mind which with ego are all part of our survival response. With severe abuse the victim is often conditioned into a feeling of constant dread whether the danger is there at the time or not.

The Ancestors

and Aldo Leopold;

"It must be a poor life that achieves freedom from fear."

To be courageous there has to be fear. Courage is about going beyond the fear and doing it anyway.

The key to going beyond this level of shame from fear is

VULNERABILITY

which is embraces love and courage.

This requires tremendous strength of will and the ability to surrender to being transparent and trust that all will be well. We need to commend powerful public figures (like Oprah) who have done this leading the way, no matter what the naysayers may say. Nevertheless it is safer for most who have less power, to do it in a supportive group such as a 12 step program or similar. Perpetuating the understandible desire for invisibility is not the solution.

The Autonomic Nervous System (A.N.S.,) whose function, among many others, is to help us manage fear and survival situations has two basic systems;

Sympathetic and Parasympathetic.

I always thought that the former prepares us for the

FOUR F'S; Flight, Fight,

and in extreme circumstance even Freezing or "Feigning Death."

The Parasympathetic calms us down and spiritual practitioners know it as the Relaxation Response. The vagus nerve which arises from the brain stem is a vital part of the Parasympathetic system, responsible for slowing the heart and respiration and lowering the blood pressure among many other bodily functions. Stephen Porges, a renowned psychiatric, has shed new light on this system with his Polyvagal Theory.

He states that the vagus which is largely responsible for the relaxation response has two elements not just the one.

A Dorsal Primitive Vagus which is responsible for FREEZING. This is NEUROCEPTIVE

in other words, involuntary, and we have no control over it in life threatening situations.There is no feigning death response which implies it is intentional. He goes on to simplify that the three systems are similar to a traffic light signal.

THE PRIMITIVE DORSAL VAGUS - RED stops one dead in one's tracks, immobilizes and shuts the victim down - the Neuroceptive Freeze. Neuroceptive implies the victim has no choice in the matter - the response is involuntary and automatic. This only occurs with impending doom and extreme danger. It results in severe slowing of the heart and vagal syncope (fainting) as well as dissociation in adults. In infants it can cause severe heart slowing and apnea (failure to breath) and even death.

Severe childhood trauma can result in an

Autonomic mismatch

where the child becomes

constantly tuned into a life threat mode.

This response is also seen in Autism.

The dorsal vagus controls the;

Muscles of facial expression.

The muscle of the tympanic membrane relaxing the ear drum and allowing the hearing of only low vibration predatory sounds.

The larynx and the voice.

And one's posture.

Hence victims often experience sensory, auditory overload and the appropriate facial expression and vocalization we would expect with this response (head down, eyes down etc.)

The high vibration sounds of the human voice are tuned out, and there is depressed vocalization.

The more common Ventral Vagus (and Parasympathetic Social engagement system) is turned off.

IN MOST SURVIVAL SITUATIONS THE SYMPATHETIC - YELLOW - Flight or Fight takes over and the

dorsal vagus remains a dormant potential only.

This Mobilization Response gives an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, metabolic rate and respiration etc... and prepares one to take action.

Its response is MOBILIZATION.

THE VENTRAL VAGUS which phylogenetically developed over eons of evolution in all mammals (GREEN for go and all is clear)

is our Social Engagement System - also called the Relaxation Response.

This determines a relaxed facial expression, vocalization and posture and also changes the tones that we hear.

The ear drum tightens so that we hear high vibration sounds like the human voice and tones like those of a lullaby in the infant or say classical music.

In severe abuse in childhood and adulthood there can be an A.N.S. mismatch or dysfunction where one is always tuned into danger even when there is none.

Porges designed the

SAFE SOUND PROTOCOL

which mimics the vibration of the human voice (Prosody.) This works well in rehabilitation of children less than 13 years of age with the use of carefully selected high vibrational music, using ear phones, for an hour a day, for five days, under supervision of a skilled psychotherapist.

The point of the Safe Sound Protocol is to prime the child's brain with high vibrational music to reprogram the dysregulated A.N.S.