GRIEF & SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION  
Rx # 7

We have seen how high vibration sound or the right prosody can affect behavioral disorders which are primed to a threat even when none is present.

This blog will suggest other methods that can help in all forms of grief.

Our greatest fear is in being isolated. This is why incarcerations involving hard core criminals sometimes permit isolation as the ultimate punishment.

Soul suffering which can lead to soul sickness and even soul loss usually involve a desperate aloneness and loneliness for many reasons such as;

loss of a job, loved one or health, guilt, shame, severe abuse, humiliation, burn out and lack of life's meaning.

Sobonfu Some', a writer and teacher from Burkina Faso (now deceased) came to the West especially to help us navigate grief related to guilt and shame.

She stressed, as did Malidoma Some' that communal grieving offers something we cannot get by ourselves. Through validation, acknowledgement and witnessing profound healing can occur.

"It takes a village" (community, support group etc.) to heal what self recrimination, self condemnation and self deprecation can do to us either due to severe abuse done by others mostly when we have done nothing wrong or due to our own self abuse.

The Creator will forgive us for what we do to ourselves (and hence to Him/Her because we are made in the image of the Divine) but we need to reconcile with what we have done to others. This means not only to forgive ourselves and others but also to ask for forgiveness. Support groups may be necessary for us in the West when community is lacking.

For those with lesser degrees of grief positive psychology and spiritual practice to subordinate Narrow or Monkey Mind to Spacious or "Big" Mind can work wonders.
Monkey Mind relates to survival and the sympathetic flight or fight response and comprises our more primal thoughts such as our desires, compulsions, habits and relatively harmless addictions such as coffee, comfort food or chocolate. In the case of shame it can turn inwards or be projected outwards into hate, malice, vengeance, and severe addictive behavior.

With a regular spiritual practice of some sort we are able to influence Spacious Mind favorably with our higher ideas, ideals, notions, beliefs, discernments and discriminations. This will also  cause a positive affect on our subconscious and our parasympathetic relaxation response. On the other hand Monkey Mind thoughts can adversely affect the subconscious. No matter what we think we think, we will act out on behalf of what our subconscious dictates. 
Our subconscious is recording EVERYTHING  we say or believe without any editing.

OUR ENDORPHINS HAVE MAINLY TO DO WITH PAIN,

SEROTONIN WITH MOOD,

AND OXYTOCIN WITH PLEASURE AND BONDING

Oxytocin Serotonin and endorphins are released alone or together with 

Body work, Acupuncture, Runners high, Exercise, Yoga etc. ...

Gratitude, Gifting

Orgasm 

 Dark chocolate, High fat foods, Spicy food 

Breast feeding in mother and infant

Aroma therapy, Sunlight and

 SSRI's or Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors.

OXYTOCIN

 creates intimacy, trust, and builds healthy relationships. It is released by men and women during orgasm, and by mothers during childbirth and breastfeeding. Oxytocin increases bonding and fidelity and improves social interaction. Often referred to as the Cuddle hormone, a simple way to release oxytocin is hugging. Inter-personal touch not only raises oxytocin, but reduces cardiovascular stress and improves the immune system. Gratitude and Gifting cause oxytocin levels to rise.

Touch therapy increases oxytocin especially after seven sessions but it does not last without maintenance. Gentle massage is more effective than deep tissue - especially just stroking the belly.

Interestingly the levels also increase in the practitioner.
"...It is in the giving that we receive." St Francis

Alcohol, nicotine, smoking, high fat foods and drugs do the same. 

Hence if we are not getting our Social Connection System (Parasympathetic) stimulated and our spiritual practice is lacking,  we can use one of these non addictive substitutes to help turn off   fight/flight. 

Gratitude increases neuronal density in the prefrontal cortex much the same as it does in advanced meditators. In addition to oxytocin it also increases dopamine and serotonin. 

Gratitude can create a positive feedback loop leading to more gratitude. Gratitude is an advanced form of spiritual practice.

... tomorrow should be another day. Or we should at least pay the good things that happen to us forward.

Click on the link to highlight then play

06_Gratitude.mp3