FORGIVENESS # 2

We are all worthy of forgiveness and we all made in the image of the Creator with a pure soul. Ego (the small self,) Monkey (Narrow) Mind, our Shadow, Store Consciousness, a negatively primed subconscious and tricksters get in its way. We are a microcosmic chip of the Divine and a tiny yet significant holographic imprint of this Light or “Flame.” As above so below, as without so within. We all need to take any "albatrosses" requiring forgiveness, hanging around us, off of our necks. 

 

“Forgiveness is the most completing gift we can experience for we all have its sweet need.” J. O’donahue

 

Forgiveness depends on:

 

What we do to ourselves (to our Higher Selves and hence to God)

 

What we have done to others

What others have done to us

 

These are the three things to be scrutinized. 

 

Forgiveness of self – the little self and its choices and actions (the Higher Self is pure.) 

Grant forgiveness!

 

Forgiveness of others. 

Give forgiveness!

 

For those that we have wronged. 

Ask forgiveness!

 

Once we have done this. whether positively accepted or not, we are better able to return to our Higher Selves.

 

Repent with joy, forgive with joy. You are returning to yourself and are back on the path.

 

It’s all about cosmic union. Go forward with forgiveness which is essential to substance and Joy.

 

Forgiveness for what we have done to our Selves - our higher Selves, made in the image of the Divine.

 

“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, “I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?”  Nietzsche

 

… The only real truth is God’s love for us. This is what it is to heal and be healed - to surrender to this.

God’s love is not a test. God is not a test of love.

 

God will forgive us for these sins - these sins to the Self, to that Self made in the image of the Creator. But we also have to forgive ourselves. This will make it easier for us to forgive others and ask others for forgiveness of any grievances. 

If this is challenging, make a trade; forgive yourself for something and then also give forgiveness or ask forgiveness of someone you have offended or injured as an equalizer towards one's worthiness. Imagining oneself in front of a spiritual tribunal accounting for one’s karma may induce us to do this. Forgiveness can help to release us from our karmic sins

Self-condemnation and recrimination have no place in spiritual transformation or healing. They strengthen guilt which can lead to shame. Regret and remorse are about what we did wrong, not who we are. Shame and persistent guilt are about feeling bad about who we are rather than only our actions. We all do bad things but this does not make us bad. Shame and guilt can put our higher consciousness in lockdown. This is a choice, we create our own reality. Pain is inevitable, suffering optional.

 Be patient with yourself, kind to yourself and release yourself from what you are not accountable.

 

“Self-condemnation strengthens guilt which is one of the greatest obstacles on the path of realization.”
Sri Swami Rama

 

Self-condemnation, guilt and shame paradoxically can make us believe that if we beat ourselves up or others do it for us, it will make us perform better but usually the opposite is true. Self-recrimination and positive outcomes are frequently inversely proportional. Functional M.R.I studies and neuroscience have shown that self-condemnation/recrimination, guilt and shame shut down the higher consciousness of the prefrontal lobe of the brain allowing our primitive brain centers and monkey mind to predominate. 

Furthermore, guilt can feed the reward center in the brain since we associate guilt with pleasure – “forbidden fruits….” Pride, shame and guilt all stimulate similar neural pathways which can decrease our self-motivation and control.

We all need to practice self-compassion, universal self-acceptance (U.S.A.) or an unconditional positive regard for ourselves (and others.) This does not mean self-enabling – we have to acknowledge and admit to being unskillful. This attitude can reduce anxiety, depression and promote happiness, optimism, positive emotions and self-worth. We need to treat ourselves as we would a good friend.

 

Guilt, and shame and a feeling that one does not deserve to be well is also antithetical to one’s healing or being cured. Some believe that sickness is God’s way of punishing them for the errors of their ways. This is not true and is a nocebo effect or a way of self-hexing. Just as self-condemnation has no place in spiritual transformation the same is true for its capacity to immobilize the Inner Healer. The Inner Healer is part of the soul and has infinite potential as shown in those who have had spontaneous remission of deadly diseases that have defied the best of what Western medicine has to offer. Everyone deserves to be healthy. Guilt and shame are antithetical to good health.

 

“There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us.” New England Saying

 

Self-compassion, U.S.A. or an unconditional positive self-regard

reduce anxiety, depression and increases happiness, optimism, positive emotions and self-worth. Self-compassion does not mean enabling. We have to admit our wrongdoing and make amends. Self-esteem with a small s which reflects ego, and can be associated with narcissism, is not the same as Self-worth (as in one’s Higher Self.) We are all worthy of respect - not necessarily esteem, pride, prestige or fame. The self-esteem movement that began in California in the 60’s was a failure. Instead of enhancing performance it decreased it and lead to more depression and even suicide. 

Owning and expressing our unskillfulness in words decreases the impact of what we may or may not have done in causing harm.

Suppressing our emotions aggravates our misdemeanors. Striving for perfection can be a disease and cause "dis"-ease. We need to substitute excellence for perfectionism. There is always a sufficiency of excellence for the task at hand.