FORGIVENESS #4

"Why do the ancient masters esteem the Tao? Because being one with the Tao, when you seek you find, when you make a mistake you are forgiven. That is why everyone loves it.” Lao-tsu

DEATH AND FORGIVENESS

“It is very dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities which one has oneself prevented from becoming realities...”

Soren Kierkegaard

Before death it is essential to take the skeletons out of the closet and complete any unfinished business. We must forgive and clean the slate. It can be done after death but this will probably require expert spiritual help. 

It is also important for those passing to release the living from any unresolved commitments. 

We have to forgive if there is a need to do so and also ask forgiveness if required. Forgiveness will release the dead from that particular karmic sin. The dead often haunt the living hoping to be forgiven from their iniquities. Forgiveness is best asked for or given before death but it must be sincere - saying "I think I forgave him..." - is not enough.

After we cross over the veil between the worlds we will need to reconcile our karma with a spiritual tribunal of a higher order. This is not judgment day as such. We are lovingly shown our prior unskillful behaviors and the errors of our ways for which we will be accountable karmically in terms of the next lifetime we will inherit. We often reincarnate into the family or situation that can best test us with our unresolved issues so that we can learn to overcome them.

Most of us will end up in one of the numerous vibrations in the Astral realm, often with our loved ones. 

Once in the Astral we lose free will and the only way we can do correctional service is through the free will of a living loved one. The dead may be able to become a guide to the living which can allow them to complete tasks they did not complete in the prior life time. We actually help our guides by allowing them to help us. Free will is the cosmic law so that we have to develop a relationship and ask to receive.

Enlightened beings in the Causal realms retain free will, can operate independently and no longer need to reincarnate unless they choose to do so for a special purpose.

FORGIVENESS LETTER

So what can we do if we never managed to reconcile before death? My guides help my clients through ritual in reconciling grievances and healing but anyone can do a modified ritual that can have power.

 Forgiveness can be very difficult for those who have suffered sexual, physical, emotional or any other form of abuse that affected the trajectory of that person's life. Lesser amounts of interference may also have prevented their progeny from recognizing their dreams for themselves even if the parent or guardian mistakenly felt they were doing if for the child's good. 

After I had done my internship I shared my plan to be a surgeon with a patriarchal uncle. I should have known better. He dogmatically stated without hesitation: "David you are not surgical material, best you just become a G.P." I did not listen to him and I used his bias as a catalyst to inspire me to go beyond his arrogance. If I had listened, he may have been karmically accountable for sabotaging my future career.

Messages to the spirit world are best done through the container of a ritual which anyone can do. I recommend that the person doing the ritual release all their negativity first by writing a letter of all the things that transpired that caused pain and resentment. No detail should be spared. One should go back in time and describe all the negative things that happened. This may require several days of writing and may involve more than one perpetrator. The intention to let go should be strong. Because this is done in ritual and appealing to the "Field," it is not psychotherapy. The sufferer is soliciting their higher Self, their guides and the spiritual tribunal above for a cathartic release and a healing. 

Once the letter is completed it should be burnt together with dried, sacred plants (cedar, sage etc.) as a carrier of the clearing to the spirit world. The ashes are then wrapped in toilet paper. The sufferer goes to  any body of water - river, lake, creek or ocean - and, throws the past "crap" into the water. The ritual is completed by saying aloud to the spirit world and the offending person; "I am releasing myself from any negativity with this ritual, it is water under the bridge for me and you are hereby released from any karmic implications on my behalf. It is critical to then walk way and not look back as a gesture of certainty and final commitment to the ritual and to the spirit world. Looking back indicates to the Field that you are not sure. 

MALICE IS ANTITHETICAL TO THE HIGHER SELF

"Malice sucks up the greater part of its own venom, and poisons itself." Michel Montaigne

Our primitive harmful emotions include; resentment, anger, hatred, envy, malice and a desire for vengeance.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Saint Augustine

Malignant misconceptions are prevalent in our culture and vengeance is a popular theme in violent movies. Forgiveness these days, in many circles, is considered a sign of weakness. Love, compassion, empathy are perceived as lacking strength.

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." M. Gandhi

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission after the fall of Apartheid in South Africa planned to forgive the perpetrators of their heinous political crimes so that the country could heal and there would not become a blood bath.

Albie Sachs the lawyer who headed the Commission said.

“It is vitally important that we see these mens’ humanity.” 

Both Nelson Mandela and Bishop Tutu wanted healing and their hope was to reach out with compassion and not revenge. 

Remorse and contrition on behalf of the perpetrators was essential and  was meant to be an opening for healing and repentance. A sincere apology for the atrocity and admission of all that had been done was key.

As a victim of the abuse said to De Kock - one of the offenders - “I hope when he sees my tears he knows that they are not only tears for our husbands but tears for him as well." 

Another thanked him for the truth which helped them to reconcile. 

There were many who disagreed with the principles of the Commission and wanted revenge. Many disagreed with the concept that Karma would eventually reconcile all grievances. There is resentment to this day concerning the events but one thing it lead to during Mandela's presidency was the emergence of a peaceful "Rainbow Nation" where mostly everyone welcomed a peaceful transition. Sadly after Mandela's demise everthing changed for the worse. Mandela had a Gandhi like attitude.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." M. Gandhi

…We must beware of anger and pride which are weapons of chaos, connecting us to our destructive instincts…

"Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord."

Vengeance is not the same as making those who commit atrocities pay the price for what they have done. Vengeance implies a hateful emotion associated with the punishment - someone who delights in carrying out the retribution and seeing the suffering of their victim. Vengeance no matter how satisfying creates a serious karmic burden for the vengeful.

“You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge … 
I am the Lord.” Leviticus

“Vengeance is Mine, and retribution. 
In due time their foot will slip.
 For the day of their calamity is near 
and the impending things are hastening upon them.” Deuteronomy

“Do not say I will repay evil with evil 
Do not say, “Thus I shall do to him as he has done to me…
 for I will render to the person according to his work. …” Proverbs

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil…” Romans 12:17

“…and do not give the Devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:27