GUILT AND SHAME
THE TOXIC CHALLENGES ON THE TRIAD OF LOVE #3
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.” William Ernest Henley
SETTING THE STAGE
"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." Buckminster Fuller
“Be willing to give up who you are - the old familiar - for who you might become, to reach that which is beyond you.” Rev N. of Braztlav
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” Marcus Aurelius
The Talmud teaches that s/he who has no evil inclination or shadow cannot do perfect service. The challenge is to take on the commitment to change. We need to alter the thought process which is perpetuating a problem that does not have to exist and is aggravating it.
"I think, therefore I am." Descartes
As you think it so it can be, as you believe it so it will be.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Marcus Antonius
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” Marcus Aurelius
Thoughts are one thing, words are another.
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." The Talmud
Words empower our thoughts.
In the beginning was the word. Before the word came the intention and the thought. Words said allowed or written have a greater power to actualize than just a thought. The Ancestors' mantra as you think it so it can be ... is true but if you add to this wisdom ... as you think it so it can be, as you empower it with words and believe it so it will be ... the energy in words takes the thought to a higher level. We cannot avoid negative thoughts but we should try to avoid saying the words out allowed that make the thought more powerful. There are those that perseverate on negative conversations who eventually become their own negative story. Their words become imbedded in their subconscious and create their reality.
“What we speak becomes the house we live in.” Hafiz
We all do bad things but that doesn’t make us bad. Feeling bad about ourselves decreases self-motivation and control and make for less accountability and more "badness." It puts our higher consciousness in lock down and we become stuck in survival mode.
“No matter how you stir a pot of filth it is always a pot of filth. Better to let the pot be and string pearls for the sake of heaven.” Chassidic saying
“To confront a person with his own shadow (evil inclination) is to show him his own light.” C.G. Jung
We have a choice; whether to have a hopeless, head down, apathetic, anxious or depressed and dejected mind set, or the opposite. Seligman, the master of positive psychology, showed that learned helplessness could be unlearned
If you would dispel the darkness, seek the sacred.
"If you do not what to see the shadow, turn your face to the sun." Aboriginal saying
"No matter how long the night, the dawn is sure to come." African proverb
However, ...
… We must support emotionally without condoning. We must acknowledge what is wrong so as not to impair conscience. Acting contrary to conscience is different from justifying and rationalizing a wrong doing. The latter compounds, not merely worsens. It influences and endangers future decisions and actions.
We must be kind and be a good friend to ourselves but not condone or enable or allow for any codependency with others. We are responsible for but are not our actions. We need to correct or make amends for anything unskillful we have done.
And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, “I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?” Nietzsche
God forgives and so we must too - our-Selves. For what we have done to others we must ask for forgiveness.
“To err is human, to forgive Divine”
The Field, our guides, Jesus and the Creator will reward us for having the courage to overcome the suffering of shame. The mantra "Jesus died for our sins (and also those done to us as they were done to him) is a powerful one."
We will be forgiven and released for and from what we have done to ourselves and what others have done to us that may or may not have created shame.
We need to shift the blame to where it belongs!
Release yourself from what you are not accountable.
Remember that you are made not for brokenness and sorrow but for wholeness and for joy.
We are all capable of rising like a Phoenix out of the ashes. Every bad experience can be alchemized into an opportunity. Furthermore, anyone that rises out from the bottom of the barrel of darkness and sorrow has the potential to be more spiritually powerful than those who have been fortunate enough not to have been there. When we are knocked down and get up - if it did not kill us - it should make us stronger - not weaker. Its not what happens to us but what we do with it that counts. Everything is a test of our karmic potential.
We need to beware of the company that we keep - even what may appear to be neutral or harmless, may not be - those spiritual vampires that can pull us down.
Be careful of what you taste and where you immerse.
Anyone or anything that does not make you more of who you are makes you less of who you are.
And so, what are you doing in the wrong circle.
The Man With a Corpse on His Back
"When you die to the old life you must bury it well or you'll stumble on with the corpse of your old self strapped to your back. Bury it well and do your grieving. Set right what can be set right with those you hurt and those who hurt you. Give up the souls you've stolen. Reclaim what was stolen from you. Then walk on and don't look back.
Others will dig up your corpse, Not only enemies and abandoned lovers, but your very best friends. They'll exhume your bag of bones and lash it to your shoulders to prove you haven't changed. You'll be dragged down and back. You'll need a second wake, a second burial..." Robert Moss
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